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by HermioneJBlack



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 07:45:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3683928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneJBlack/pseuds/HermioneJBlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert's world falls apart when the unimaginable happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

_He was smiling. Today was going to be a good day. He saw him across the street. He didn’t have time to talk, but they had plans later, so they could talk all they wanted then. There was a shout behind him. He turned and saw his little sister running to him. He waited for her. Suddenly, a screech was heard. He turned to see a car heading towards him at speed. He froze, when he felt a solid form hit him from the side. He hit the floor. The car hit something before it sped away. He looked up when he heard a scream. He looked across the street and saw him, still and bleeding._

_“AARON!”_

*

Robert woke with a start, tears streaming down his face. He felt movement beside him, and quickly turned to shield his face.

“Robert?” Chrissie asked sleepily. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he replied roughly. Suddenly, he stood from the bed. “I can’t sleep, so I’m just going out for a bit.” He quickly got dressed, and left the bedroom and the house before another word could stop him.

He got into his car, and took a shuddering breath as he tried to calm his emotions, before starting the engine and began driving away.

*

_“AARON!” Robert screamed as he rushed to his feet. He ran across the street to the still body. Gently, he turned Aaron onto his back. “Aaron? Aaron, look at me. Please, Aaron.”_

_Aaron groaned, as he opened his eyes. “Robert?”_

_“I’m here, babe,” he told him. Robert turned to his sister. “Vic! Call an ambulance!” He turned back to Aaron. “It’s gonna be ok.”_

_“Hurts,” Aaron whimpered._

_“Shh,” Robert soothed. “An ambulance is on the way. You just need to be strong for me.” Aaron nodded gently. “Why did you do that? What were you thinking, Aaron?”_

_Aaron coughed. “Protecting you.”_

*

Robert shook the memory away, as he arrived in the village and parked outside the church. He looked at the clock. 3.05am. He sat in silence.

*

_Robert was sat next to Aaron’s hospital bed. Aaron groaned._

_“Robert?” he asked._

_“Hey,” Robert replied. “Your mum’s on the way.” He gently stroked his finger down Aaron’s cheek. “Don’t ever do anything that stupid again. Got it?”_

_Aaron gave a slight smile. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”_

_“But you were hurt, Aaron, badly,” Robert told him. “Do you have any idea what went through my mind when I saw you lying there? I thought you were dead.” A tear ran down his cheek._

_Aaron reached out and brushed the tear away. “I’m sorry.”_

_Robert turned his head, and gave Aaron’s palm a gentle kiss before pulling and reaching into his jacket pocket. “I got you something.” He pulled out a small box. “I was going to give it to you later, when we met up.”_

_“What is it?” Aaron asked as he took the box._

_“Open it.” Aaron did as he was told. Inside was a beautiful silver ring. “It’s a promise,” Robert said quietly. “A promise from me to you, that from now on things will be better, no more hiding.” Robert took the ring from the box, and held it out to Aaron. “Look at the inscription.” It read, ‘Hope. Happiness. Love.’ Tears began to run down Aaron’s face. “These are the things you’ve given me, Aaron. It’s time I did the same for you.”_

_Aaron looked at Robert. “Say it,” he whispered._

_Robert smiled, knowing what he was asking. “I love you, Aaron. I love you and only you.”_

*

He smiled at the memory, before turning to look towards the church. Eventually, Robert got out of the car and headed towards the gates.

*

_Robert and Aaron were talking quietly, when the door quickly opened and Chas came rushing in._

_“Aaron,” she said, as she went to hug him. “I was worried about you.” She pulled back and saw Robert. “What are you doing here?”_

_“Mum,” Aaron began to protest._

_“I’m here because I care about Aaron,” Robert told her._

_Chas laughed. “I don’t believe you. Get out.”_

_“Mum, stop,” Aaron said loudly. Chas turned to him in surprise. “I want him to stay.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_Aaron looked at Robert. Robert smiled at him. “Tell her,” he said._

_Aaron turned back to his mum. “Me and Roberts have been seeing each other. I’m in love with him.”_

_Chas looked between Aaron and Robert in shock. “But you’re engaged,” she said to Robert. “What have you done to my son?”_

_“Mum, he hasn’t done anything to me.”_

_“I know I’m engaged to Chrissie,” Robert told her with honesty. “I know I shouldn’t’ve started this, but I promise you, I’m in love with Aaron. He is everything to me. I would never intentionally hurt him.”_

_Aaron looked at him, with tears in his eyes. “Robert, could you give us a minute?”_

_“Sure, I’ll just be outside.” Robert left the room, and sat in the chair across the hall, with a bright smile on his face._

*

He walked slowly through the churchyard and stopped in front of the newest headstone. It read …

_In Loving Memory of_

_Aaron Livesy_

Robert knelt down, and ran his fingers gently across the name. “I’m sorry, Aaron,” he whispered.

*

_Chas came out of Aaron’s room, and walked over to Robert. “He wants to see you.”_

_Robert stood and went back into the room. He saw Aaron was breathing heavily. “Hey, are you ok? Should I get a doctor?”_

_Aaron shook his head. “No, I’m fine.” He reached out his hand. “Come here. I want to talk to you before my mum comes back.”_

_“What is it?” Robert asked worriedly, taking his hand_

_“I want you to promise me something.”_

_“Anything.”_

_“Promise me, if something happens, you won’t do anything stupid,” Aaron breathed._

_Robert squeezed his hand. “Don’t say things like that.”_

_“Please, Robert.” His breathing was becoming more and more laboured, as he began struggling to breathe. “Promise me.”_

_“Ok,” Robert said. “I promise.” Aaron gave him a tight smile, before his eyes closed and the monitors began beeping. “Aaron? Open your eyes, Aaron. Please.” Doctors rushed into the room. “NO!” Robert shouted as he was forced out of the room. “AARON!”_

_The door slammed shut, leaving him outside. Chas came rushing over. “What happened?”_

_“I don’t know,” Robert choked. “The monitors just started beeping.”_

_The two of them waited outside, hoping and praying that everything was ok. Eventually, the door opened and the doctor came out, with a grim expression. He looked between them, before shaking his head._

_Robert felt his heart miss a beat as he headed towards the hospital room. The doctor held his back. “Let go of me. Please, I need to see him. He can’t be …” He continued to struggle against the doctor._

_“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “He had a blood clot we weren’t aware of. There was nothing we could do.”_

_Robert pushed the doctor away, and fell to his knees as a scream escaped his throat._

*

“You’re mum hasn’t spoken to me since the hospital, and people have already started to get on with their lives. It’s only been a month, and it’s like nothing has changed.” He sighed, as he sat on the ground with his back against the headstone. “Everything has changed. Well, it has for me. It feels like my whole world has ended. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep. No work, no pub, no going anywhere. Chrissie just thinks it’s shock after nearly being run over, but she doesn’t understand. No one does.

“You know, this is what I miss most, just having you here to talk to. You’re the only person who really knew me. My Aaron. I’m sorry for everything I did. I’m sorry for what I put you through. I’m sorry for not protecting you.”

Tears began to run down Robert’s face as he thought back to that day. “I know I made you a promise,” he whispered, “and I’ve tried, Aaron, but I can’t do it. It’s too hard. I miss you so much.” He turned and sat on the ground with his back against the headstone. He reached into his pocket and took a sealed envelope.

“Soon everyone will know the truth,” he said as he stared at the envelope. “It’ll be too late for any of them to do anything, but they will know. About me, about us, and why I came here.” He put the envelope back into his pocket, and instead, took out a hipflask and a bottle of pills. “I was never the man you deserved, and maybe if things had been different, I could’ve tried to be. I messed everything up in this life, hopefully I will do better by you in the next one.”

Robert opened the bottle and the hipflask.

“I love you, Aaron.”

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a second chapter, with everyone's reactions to Robert's letter.


End file.
